I was washing a pan. Like in childhood I made too much foam and started drawing on it and writing letters with my finger. I wrote & erased, drew & erased…
In teenage years I usually wrote the initials or the name of the guy I liked at the moment. When there was no one in particular, I drew hearts…
After almost 20 years, tonight, I re-started the habit about which I had forgotten long time ago.
Then I thought how many other habits have been lost in between years, months, weeks & days….
When I was 5 years (to think only! my son is 5 now) old I fell in love with my neighbour, who was 16. Of course I was inexperienced and everyone at home knew about it, they told his parents, who told him… in short it wasn’t a secret love anymore. At that period I developed the habit of singing loud behind our common wall (songs from cartoons, of course:)). The serenades lasted for few months… then I had to go to school, life changed and I forgot the “habit” with the time.
When singing behind the wall stopped I developed the ugly habit of chewing my nails. It lasted for almost a year. I knew it was bad but did nothing to stop. Fortunately for me it stopped as sudden as it started and I was free from that one too.
Later on I developed the habit of falling in love with bad guys. Guys with long hair, tight jeans, who loved alcohol and hard rock (even heavy metal) and were very self confident. Guys, who were “terrible” in parent’s eyes and “terribly sexy” in mine. The habit disappeared as soon as my brain grew and I realized that those guys were nor “terrible” neither “terribly sexy”. And since I hated (and still hate) everything mediocre the habit was killed.
Somewhere around the above-mentioned period I started writing. The habit of putting words in foreign language into rhyme was born accidentally. I felt down and lonely sitting in the kitchen at the evening. I saw a paper and pen on the table, took it and started writing. I had no idea what I was doing and didn’t know why I wrote in English… but I wrote my first poem and the habit staid with me for few years. Then it was lost for 8 years and just like drawing on pans I re-gained it few months ago.
Some habits are with me since a long time, some were created recently, some I don’t even notice, but they all are always with me.
I always put on make up when going to work, wear the same dress max. 2 days in a row, at home drink beer straight from the bottle, cook with the turned on radio, sometimes sing while driving and ALWAYS cry watching good sad movies…