Two icons (Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain) took their own lives in the same week.
It’s sad and painful and I can’t even imagine in what level of darkness they had reached to make such a decision and later to make it happen…
Then, on social media in my feeds, I saw several comments that drove me insane.
I am not from those who would get into lengthy arguments in comments… but from time to time I come here and write my reflections on things, or livestream my unpopular views…
Today I decided to pinpoint the relatively common comments that made me want to say so much…
The below brief thoughts are not specifically about the above mentioned talented people, but pretty much anyone who chooses to leave this world…
So here we go:
Comment Type #1 – But he/she had it all (was so successful, had an amazing life, etc.)
When I read this I immediately come up with the naturally born counter-question: “how do you know?”. Celebrities leave the illusion that we know them. The fact that they are under the spotlight and we get a sneak peek of their personal lives, somehow makes us think that we know what their life is about.
But guess what? We have no fucking clue!
How do I know? Well, look at your own Instagram (or any other social media account) feed. If someone who had an idea about your life saw it, would they get the real picture?
If you answered yes then I hope your nose did not get longer.
Yes, many think that both Kate and Anthony had wonderful lives… but who knows what was the reality. Who knows what was going on in their soul… in their mind… in their hearts?
Comment Type #2 – It wasn’t a suicide
(it was probably an overdose and they don’t wanna tell… or it was a murder… or whatever else one come up with…)
Speculating on the fact sitting on your sofa with zero knowledge and any evidence is at the minimum an unethical deed. Playing with the reputation of someone you have never met… creating the image of the person, who is no longer among us… even worse.
because you guys seek attention on the Internet? Or maybe because you have too much time in your hands and are bored? Or maybe simply you’ve read too many novels or have the stereotype of all rich people being drug users?
Comment Type #3 – Who would have thought… they seemed so happy!
Not everyone who is fighting depression looks like one.
To be honest it is much easier to disguise it than you think. At some point it becomes a skill that they master. If they don’t decide to share the situation with others or seek help… if they decide that they don’t want anyone to know about the demons inside they are fighting – believe me, you will never know.
Or at least by the time, you will figure it out it will be too late.
Faking being happy is not that hard. We all do it to some extent. Some less then the others… and some go all in and succeed in that too.
The problem is…
Usually, those who have never had the first-hand experience of anxiety disorder and depression will never be able to imagine how it feels “on the other side”.
They may have read a few articles on Internet and think that they know… but they have no clue.
And the saddest thing is that the above are those people who are the loudest. Those are the ones who feel entitled to share their opinions and views about something they don’t know.
On the other hand, it’s good that they don’t know… because fewer people know how it feels, fewer people we will leave us in such soul-shaking manner…